Well I must have a work project due soon – because I’m sitting at my laptop, surrounded by stacks of printed out documents and a succession of slowly dying highlighters, studiously avoiding the task at hand. Procrastination extraordinaire.
Hence, a new blog. An outlet for all of the bizarre and occasionally inane thoughts that fill my head 99% of the time and inevitably peak when I have something else really quite important to attend to. Enjoy.
A new blog should start with a bang. Which makes my first subject something of a strange choice. No one could possibly claim that there was anything ‘bang’-like about the most recent federal election. The only remotely startling moment was the dawning realisation that Clive Palmer may ACTUALLY be elected to represent the people of Australia in the House of Representatives. I’m sure he’ll feature in my musings again, so I’ll leave that one for the moment. I’m also concerned that he’ll sue me or accuse me of being a Chinese spy.
It’s all good Clive.
I must confess that I am a political junkie. I can’t get enough of it. Unlike most political tragics though (and probably much to most of their disgust and disapproval) I am far more interested in the personalities, media strategies, spin doctoring than the actual policies. I know, it’s sick. But I can’t help it. That isn’t to say that I don’t take a keen interest in some policies, it’s just that I much prefer to watch a brawl on the subject of negative political advertising than different types of fibre optic cable.
I’ve always toyed with the idea of trying to manoeuvre myself into a position whereby I could actually make a living out of this fascination. I already work in a vaguely related area – media monitoring for government clients – however I think that the real volatility and excitement lies within the political parties themselves. The main issue I have is trying to decide which side of politics to target.
It may sound strange, but I genuinely do not know which party I’d be best suited to. I have always maintained a ‘policies for policies’ approach (also known as political, as opposed to sexual, ambiguity). My ABC Vote Compass results were all over the shop.
I remember one piece of advice I received years ago from a former Labor adviser and journalist turned communications consultant. He told me that, while the Labor Party will only really consider people who live and breathe the party values, the Liberals are much more likely to take anyone with talent. I guess this explains Malcolm Turnbull, although I’m not sure how Kevin Rudd fits in. I’m not a union member, I can’t classify myself as coming from a truly blue collar / working class family and therefore I probably do not possess the necessary traditional Labor credentials. On the other hand, I’m also unconvinced that I possess any relevant talent that would be attractive to the Liberal Party either. Dilemma.
I guess I could target Clive or Katter, however I’m not a fan of humidity (sorry Bob – that rules out FNQ) and, despite the fact that I think Clive is far smarter and more politically adept than most people give him credit for, there’s no escaping the fact that he’s a raving, egomaniacal lunatic whose grasp on the English language is tenuous, at best. I’m surely not progressive enough for the Greens. I like to think that I’m relatively socially aware, however I’d rather shoot myself in the face than spend five minutes in a room full of Catherine Deveneys.
So yes, apparently I’ve ruled myself out of all of the parties. Which puts me right back to where I started. Hmm. I’ve wasted 20 minutes though – so that’s something.
And now for a political montage – one of my favourite things ever: